Do You Really Want What You Want?

Today while working out at the YMCA, I noticed a heavy woman on the stationary bike slowly peddling and reading a cook book! She didn’t seem like she was in much of a hurry to get anywhere. It started me thinking, how we sabotage ourselves. Of course I’m assuming she was trying to lose weight, not just hiding out reading her casserole cookbook. Maybe she just wanted to learn how to cook.
Losing weight is hard, working out is hard and doing both is even harder. What do you have to do  to get what you want and be successful? Is it work hard? Maybe not.
I think the first thing is you have to know what you really want. Like the woman on the bike, are you trying to go backwards and forwards at the same time? Like the “jumbo shrimp cocktail?”
 How often do we say “I want to be healthy” while we’re eating another  piece of cake? To be successful and get what you want you must have a compelling personal commitment to something that is really important–to you! When you’re engaged in “the thing” you don’t worry about the time or what you’re doing. For me it’s being at the YMCA lifting weights. Why is that you ask, I have no idea but when it’s “weight lift day” I can’t wait to get to the gym. Is it because I want to be healthy, partly. The other reason is  I like the feeling of getting stronger. Sometimes it’s hard to get out of bed at 6AM but usually I do it. I’m just passionate about this part of my workout. I hold myself accountable by checking off the machines as I use them and carefully note the weight on each machine. Occasionally for whatever reason I miss a week and I feel awful. I try and remind myself of the bigger picture and get back on the wagon.It’s hard losing weight and working out; it’s even harder if you live across the street from D&D., Dunkin Donuts.
Success needs to be measured in your own terms. I have a friend who collects miniature tea pots, one who collects glass elephants and another business cards! Go figure. It gives them pleasure and they will always show you their newest addition. I have another friend who collects baseball cards, and has them cataloged. Apparently this type of success, to do what you want isn’t measured in money–not even for my friend with cabinets filled with baseball cards.
You must be willing to pay the price–“you work too hard, you’re a workaholic, why collect meaningless business cards? You must be passionate. Can you pass the “Passion Test?” This is a very interesting test, you’ll know right away if you’re passionate. I would say if you’re not passionate about what you’re doing, move on! If you feel like you can’t move on, find something about the task that you really love and put your heart and soul into it.
This is a great article on being successful:
Simple but : insightful, things that successful people do.
Get rid of limiting beliefs: I can’t do it, I might fail and what will people think? If you’re worry about what people think you’re already in trouble. I am reading “Start With Why” by Simon Sinek which really  makes you think. Check out this video of Simon Sinek. “Our perceptions influence or behavior.”
Decide that you matter. You’re not selfish because you “matter.” How will you get what you want and fill your passion if “you don’t matter?” You must know “people pleasers” who spend their lives doing for everyone but themselves? This is a great article on being a “people pleaser” and what it takes to change. Being a “people pleaser” may feel good for a minute but after it’s over, you’ll have to look for someone else to please if you want to feel good again.
Spend a minute thinking about yourself tomorrow and dream your dreams, even if it’s just for a minute. 
Lisbeth Calandrino is a business coach and speaker. Her book, Red Hot Customer Service has great tips on providing anything but ordinary tips for customer service for your customers. She can be reached at [email protected].

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